Premise One:

"Civilization is not and can never be sustainable. This is especially true for industrial civilization." - Derrick Jensen

Saturday, October 24, 2009

My Dan.

I met a guy,
he's my Mr.wonderful.
Fills my sorrows,
with laughter.
Makes my heart,
pump faster.
Giving me reason to rise,
someone to think of.
He's my Mr.wonderful,
his touch smooths my soul.
When our lips kiss,
his kiss i may not dismiss,
this may be bliss.

I havent felt this in so long. Maybe Ive never felt it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Often

These days I feel like I have to constantly slap myself in the face. To push forward, time passes quick, my idea of forming a rewild club totally faded away, just like summer. The warm weather is gone, its going to be a cold winter. I need to keep studying wild plants so when Spring returns I can totally be a asset to a short term goal.

I need to get a job, start making money.... I hate money, I hate it so much.... I dont hate it cause its hard to make I hate it because im a slave to it.. fuck!!!

I had a old boss, back when I did door to door marketing, he would always ask me: "Does the money control you? Or do you control the money?" I remeber always trying to explain to him... that me being in control of making my own money didnt mean I wasnt a slave. He would always laugh about that. He said he would rather think he was in control of it...

I remeber days drowning myself out...of blazing fat blunts and bongs, partying all night, waking up late, working 12-8. It was a time of bad habits. I never partied much, I never really liked drinking, but it was like over night I became a heavy drinker... Money made me numb.