Premise One:

"Civilization is not and can never be sustainable. This is especially true for industrial civilization." - Derrick Jensen

Monday, October 12, 2009

Often

These days I feel like I have to constantly slap myself in the face. To push forward, time passes quick, my idea of forming a rewild club totally faded away, just like summer. The warm weather is gone, its going to be a cold winter. I need to keep studying wild plants so when Spring returns I can totally be a asset to a short term goal.

I need to get a job, start making money.... I hate money, I hate it so much.... I dont hate it cause its hard to make I hate it because im a slave to it.. fuck!!!

I had a old boss, back when I did door to door marketing, he would always ask me: "Does the money control you? Or do you control the money?" I remeber always trying to explain to him... that me being in control of making my own money didnt mean I wasnt a slave. He would always laugh about that. He said he would rather think he was in control of it...

I remeber days drowning myself out...of blazing fat blunts and bongs, partying all night, waking up late, working 12-8. It was a time of bad habits. I never partied much, I never really liked drinking, but it was like over night I became a heavy drinker... Money made me numb.

1 comment:

  1. Don't hit yourself. Do things because you respect yourself and have values. I don't think self hatred accomplishes things any faster. I've wasted more time than some, but you learn your lesson and improve. Time does fly away sometimes.

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