These days I feel like I have to constantly slap myself in the face. To push forward, time passes quick, my idea of forming a rewild club totally faded away, just like summer. The warm weather is gone, its going to be a cold winter. I need to keep studying wild plants so when Spring returns I can totally be a asset to a short term goal.
I need to get a job, start making money.... I hate money, I hate it so much.... I dont hate it cause its hard to make I hate it because im a slave to it.. fuck!!!
I had a old boss, back when I did door to door marketing, he would always ask me: "Does the money control you? Or do you control the money?" I remeber always trying to explain to him... that me being in control of making my own money didnt mean I wasnt a slave. He would always laugh about that. He said he would rather think he was in control of it...
I remeber days drowning myself out...of blazing fat blunts and bongs, partying all night, waking up late, working 12-8. It was a time of bad habits. I never partied much, I never really liked drinking, but it was like over night I became a heavy drinker... Money made me numb.