Premise One:

"Civilization is not and can never be sustainable. This is especially true for industrial civilization." - Derrick Jensen

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Just Sad

Im weak, I know this forsure. I put this front up to myself imagining I can handle anything that comes my way. Ive felt trapped and caged so long it isnt so easy to just be free. I feel so broken by the people in my life and who I have chosen to remain close too. Apart of me wants to just break down and leave and perhaps and let something really bad happen to me. End my misery. Why is it, when I had nothing to lose and everything to gain I put myself into this place. Everything I am against seems to be blooming. Others who are strong have begun to gather and stand together. Why am I such a lone wolf. I dream of a community. I neglect myself by purposly avoiding others. Why am I doing this. Everyone who has ever believed in me was wrong. I was wrong to believe in myself. Im such a fucking coward, I refuse to just make others feel bad, wait for them to collapse to "make them do shit" im tried of life. this isnt cool I just wanna live.